(ARA) – The holidays are a busy time for everyone, adults and kids alike. Between the hectic schedule, the excitement and days off from school and work, emotions both good and bad can run high.
Because of this, the holidays are a great time to help teach your children to manage both positive and negative moods in an emotionally intelligent manner. Here are some ideas for ways to get your kids to express what they are feeling in a healthy way this holiday season:
1. Talk it out
The holidays can stress children out much more than many parents realize. The first thing that every parent should try is talking to their children about what they are feeling, especially when they are dealing with negative feelings. Try to figure out the origin of the emotion. It helps to encourage them to use the word "I" when they explain their feelings. For example, "I feel sad when" or "I feel excited because."
2. Utilize visuals
If verbalizing emotions isn't an easy thing for your child to do, start by sitting down and coloring pictures together. Some children will open up instantly when they have a creative outlet for expression. Ask your child to explain their drawing. Don't let them do all the work, parents should draw and explain the feelings involved in their picture as well. This exercise just might be the perfect ice-breaker.
3. Put emotionally intelligent toys under the tree
With a little research, parents can find toys for their kids that help them learn and express their emotions. One great example is the Super Special Friend Kai-lan doll. Based on the character Kai-lan from Nickelodeon’s hit animated preschool series, Ni Hao, Kai-lan, this interactive doll invites the child to hold Kai-lan’s hand as her heart will light up in one of six different colors, each corresponding to a different emotion. The doll also moves her head, eyes and arms in response to how she’s feeling, and asks girls and boys to interact with her. When she’s sad, she asks for a hug; when she’s happy she sings the “Friends Make Me Super Happy” song from the show; and when she’s feeling giggly, she makes a silly face. This toy is an easy way to help your child learn about their emotions and how to express them.
4. Lead by example
Your child is in constant observation of your behavior. So when you're feeling happy or sad, talk about it with your child. After a tough day at work, have a short conversation over dinner about how you are tired because work today was hard and how you hope tomorrow is better. If you're excited for an upcoming event, let your child know what you think about the event and why you are looking forward to it. Talking about life and demonstrating how to properly handle both positive and negative emotions are good ways to lead by example.
Try one or more of these ideas to help your child learn about emotions and feelings, especially during the busy holiday season. If one doesn't work, don't be afraid to try another one. With time and patience, every child can learn about feelings and how to properly manage their moods.
Courtesy of ARAcontent
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Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Planned family time good for children and parents
Activities don’t stop just because it’s the summer. Between camps, sports and work schedules, parents need to make sure they’re planning time to spend with their children.
A full schedule doesn’t just cause stress for children. It can also hurt a family’s relationship and lead to sleep loss – among other problems, said Ted Futris, a relationships specialist with University of Georgia Cooperative Extension.
“We overschedule ourselves,” he said. “If both children and their parents are constantly going, when are parents engaging in discussions with their kids? Parents need to be making a conscious decision to schedule time together on a regular basis.”
Eating together
Mealtimes are one way for families to connect.
“It could be only 30 minutes a day,” Futris said. “We need to at least preserve family mealtime in an overscheduled week, because that is essential.”
Futris gets his sons up and eats breakfast with them before heading to work. He and his wife also make sure to eat dinner together as a family.
Teens who eat dinner with their families five or more times per week have lower rates of teen smoking, drinking, illegal drug use and prescription drug abuse, according to a 2007 study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.
“There are no silver bullets. Unfortunately, the tragedy of a child’s substance abuse can strike any family,” said CASA president and chairman Joseph A. Califano Jr. “But one factor that does more to reduce teens’ substance abuse risk than almost any other is parental engagement, and one of the simplest and most effective ways for parents to be engaged in teens’ lives is by having frequent family dinners.”
And that meal doesn’t have to be supper. Futris said families can just as easily relate over a morning Pop-Tart. The most important part is that parents are checking in on their kids and showing that they’re paying attention to what their kids are saying and doing.
“Parental monitoring is so important for adolescent development and risk-taking,” Futris said.
Setting limits
As parents pay attention to their child, they’re more able to set limits that meet their child’s needs.
“The most effective parenting style is one in which parents set limits that are appropriate for their children and give them freedom within those limits,” said UGA Extension child development specialist Diane Bales.
She says it’s more than just establishing limits. Parents also need to stand tough on them, because testing the limits is one way that children establish security.
A child’s limits also need to change with age so that a parent is “not treating a 15-year-old like a 5-year-old,” Bales said.
Being consistent
Consistency, it turns out, may be more important than the quantity or quality of time that parents spend with their children.
“It’s important that you have the time so parents can connect and follow up on the day-to-day activities of their kids,” Futris said. “You need to show that you’re paying attention.”
To show they are paying attention, he said, parents should ask children open-ended and specific questions.
A “how was your day?” may only get a grunt in return, he said. A question about a friend, a sports activity or a map project at school requires a child to give a slightly longer answer.
“Parents who remember what’s going on convey to their children that mom and dad care enough to remember what’s happening,” Futris said.
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A full schedule doesn’t just cause stress for children. It can also hurt a family’s relationship and lead to sleep loss – among other problems, said Ted Futris, a relationships specialist with University of Georgia Cooperative Extension.
“We overschedule ourselves,” he said. “If both children and their parents are constantly going, when are parents engaging in discussions with their kids? Parents need to be making a conscious decision to schedule time together on a regular basis.”
Eating together
Mealtimes are one way for families to connect.
“It could be only 30 minutes a day,” Futris said. “We need to at least preserve family mealtime in an overscheduled week, because that is essential.”
Futris gets his sons up and eats breakfast with them before heading to work. He and his wife also make sure to eat dinner together as a family.
Teens who eat dinner with their families five or more times per week have lower rates of teen smoking, drinking, illegal drug use and prescription drug abuse, according to a 2007 study by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.
“There are no silver bullets. Unfortunately, the tragedy of a child’s substance abuse can strike any family,” said CASA president and chairman Joseph A. Califano Jr. “But one factor that does more to reduce teens’ substance abuse risk than almost any other is parental engagement, and one of the simplest and most effective ways for parents to be engaged in teens’ lives is by having frequent family dinners.”
And that meal doesn’t have to be supper. Futris said families can just as easily relate over a morning Pop-Tart. The most important part is that parents are checking in on their kids and showing that they’re paying attention to what their kids are saying and doing.
“Parental monitoring is so important for adolescent development and risk-taking,” Futris said.
Setting limits
As parents pay attention to their child, they’re more able to set limits that meet their child’s needs.
“The most effective parenting style is one in which parents set limits that are appropriate for their children and give them freedom within those limits,” said UGA Extension child development specialist Diane Bales.
She says it’s more than just establishing limits. Parents also need to stand tough on them, because testing the limits is one way that children establish security.
A child’s limits also need to change with age so that a parent is “not treating a 15-year-old like a 5-year-old,” Bales said.
Being consistent
Consistency, it turns out, may be more important than the quantity or quality of time that parents spend with their children.
“It’s important that you have the time so parents can connect and follow up on the day-to-day activities of their kids,” Futris said. “You need to show that you’re paying attention.”
To show they are paying attention, he said, parents should ask children open-ended and specific questions.
A “how was your day?” may only get a grunt in return, he said. A question about a friend, a sports activity or a map project at school requires a child to give a slightly longer answer.
“Parents who remember what’s going on convey to their children that mom and dad care enough to remember what’s happening,” Futris said.
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